Carpool to Hell

Three souls are trapped in the same plane of existence on the downward spiral to Hell. This is their story.

Posts tagged leviathan

Hump Day

  • Leviathan: I hate that fucking camel.
  • Baal: You can't just say that, Lev; Muslims are people too.

It's Been A While

  • Leviathan: Op...Op Op.... Oppa Pedo style
  • *silence*
  • Baal: Heeeeey....sexy chillins

Drunk Azrael Reveals What He Really Thinks About Leviathan

  • Drunk Azrael: You know...she's...
  • Leviathan: "she's just so crazy it just might work?"
  • Drunk Azrael: ...GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU GOLD STEALING JEW!!!

New dogs, old tricks

  • Azrael: Flashing the neighbors has been significantly less fun since we moved and now live across from that elementary school.
  • Leviathan: Well, maybe for you.

Mind Reading

  • Azrael: Well if you'll excuse me, I need to paint a picture while watching Star Trek.
  • Leviathan: Remember what I said? If you miss your class, I'm going to stab you in the eye. Do you know what I meant by that?
  • Azrael: That you'll aim for my eye so that I die instantly?
  • Leviathan: No.
  • Azrael: That you'll aim for my cheek, so that I'll be scarred but alive?
  • Leviathan: No.
  • Azrael: That you'll use you penis?
  • Leviathan: *smiles*

Ebony and Ivory

  • Azrael: Yeah, cause Chernobog totally stroked my crotch last night.
  • Leviathan: That's why I did not want to sit next to him.
  • *Azrael pantomimes Chernobog stroking his crotch*
  • Azrael: *exasperated* Thank you??
  • Leviathan: Now...tell me the truth...It aroused you a little, huh?
  • *Azrael shakes head and makes disgusted face*
  • Azrael: NO...he's black!

Absence makes the weird grow stronger

  • Azrael by himself looking at some pictures from a weekend get together.
  • Azrael: Hmm, it is just me or do I look creepy in this picture.
  • Azrael: (imitating Baal) It's not just this picture.
  • Azrael: (imitating Leviathan) The problem appears to be occurring in *this* region (pointing at face)
  • Azrael: Ahhhh....
  • Azrael: Well then, I'll just be going now. *gets up to leave*
  • Azrael: Wait. Waiiiit. *sits back down*

"You’d be angry too if you were in an oven!"

~ [Leviathan], in response to the angry cookie picture.

Tis the Season for Gingerbread Disasters

  • Baal: Leviathan...hear me out on this...
  • Leviathan: *skeptical look*
  • Baal: We get one of those G.I. Joe airplanes...and build the gingerbread Twin Towers....and we throw it into them...
  • Leviathan: Can we put explosives in the plane?
  • Baal: Sure.

Lumpy Lady Loves

  • Chernobog: She's on your team.
  • Leviathan: Naked. Glistening.
  • Azrael: Ugh.
  • Chernobog: You must sex her until her hair is straight.
  • Arzael: *gags*
  • Chernobog: Wait.
  • Chernobog: Down there.
  • Azrael: *dry heaves* *leaves room*
  • Azrael: *Returns with a large kitchen knife* We have ways for dealing with this.