Carpool to Hell

Three souls are trapped in the same plane of existence on the downward spiral to Hell. This is their story.

Hump Day

  • Leviathan: I hate that fucking camel.
  • Baal: You can't just say that, Lev; Muslims are people too.

"I watched Django: Unchained. So many new jokes I’d never thought of before."

Leviathan

Dark and Troubled Waters

  • Leviathan: (from the bathroom)
  • Leviathan: RELEASE THE KRAKEN

It's Been A While

  • Leviathan: Op...Op Op.... Oppa Pedo style
  • *silence*
  • Baal: Heeeeey....sexy chillins

"AIDS.
That is all."

Az

Assassin's Creed is hard.

  • Leviathan: (in an Indian Accent) All-tie-eer! Get da fuck outof my store before I bitch-slap you like Shiva!
  • Azrael: Hey, we should write that down on a piece of paper and get [our Indian neighbor] to read it.
  • Baal: That is one of the best ideas I have ever heard.

Drunk Azrael Reveals What He Really Thinks About Leviathan

  • Drunk Azrael: You know...she's...
  • Leviathan: "she's just so crazy it just might work?"
  • Drunk Azrael: ...GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU GOLD STEALING JEW!!!

New dogs, old tricks

  • Azrael: Flashing the neighbors has been significantly less fun since we moved and now live across from that elementary school.
  • Leviathan: Well, maybe for you.

"I just realized why it’s easy for Asians to become actors: they don’t have to worry about whether or not their eyes show the right emotions cause you can’t see them anyway!"

Azrael, while watching Star Trek: Voyager

Mind Reading

  • Azrael: Well if you'll excuse me, I need to paint a picture while watching Star Trek.
  • Leviathan: Remember what I said? If you miss your class, I'm going to stab you in the eye. Do you know what I meant by that?
  • Azrael: That you'll aim for my eye so that I die instantly?
  • Leviathan: No.
  • Azrael: That you'll aim for my cheek, so that I'll be scarred but alive?
  • Leviathan: No.
  • Azrael: That you'll use you penis?
  • Leviathan: *smiles*